'So Now You Know: Growing Up Gay in India' by Vivek Tejuja-Book Review

A year after the colonial era law of Section 377 was decriminalized Vivek Tejuja’s memoir 'So Now You Know: Growing Up Gay in India' has hit the shelves. I pre-ordered the book not just because of its premise, I was also interested in the voracious reading habit of the author as I follow him on social media for book recommendations. Now that I have read this one, my belief in the power of reading and befriending books has only gotten stronger. Sometimes we turn to books to give ourselves company, fighting a hundred battles within and the outside world. While we read and read and read our subliminal self makes a world of its own where everything is the way we want it to be. We grow stronger, wiser and happier. Therefore, we are in a better place. The Hungry Reader definitely is.

Here is his blog.

https://thehungryreader.wordpress.com/

Vivek writes about his love for reading and the solace he found in the seas with all that he had to go through. A stereotypical Indian household and standard upbringing, bullying in school and unrequited love, friendships and relationships, social acceptance and the question of identity from the age of nine to nineteen are some issues he writes about. Life is not easy if one is different, we live in a world where hypocrites rule. Despite people coming out to accept their sexual orientation and gender identity, there will be at least one conversation where someone would go “Hey did you know? He is gay!”

Which law to change societal attitude?

I read this book while travelling in the Metro train this morning, the stares and glares I got from people sitting in the opposite row was quite predictable. It did not matter to me, what was important to me was my connection to the author as a reader. My eyes were moist while I read Vivek’s experiences, I did not stop reading. In fact page ninety-six changed me as a person.

I remembered a young boy in his early twenties who was in my cabin in the hospital on a Sunday morning for his retro positive status, while I was following my standard format of counselling midway through the conversation he stopped me to say

” Doctor I am gay…”

I had to pause for a while and realign my thoughts to counsel him for treatment again. I cannot share more details because of confidentiality and ethical issues. While he got himself tested and started his therapy, I was happy that I did not treat him differently for what he is. He must have had a war inside his head to reveal this to me, a stranger whom he met five minutes ago.

All people want is respect for their being, love and acceptance is something we don’t ask for from everyone. If people who mean the world give it to us there is nothing like it. Vivek has literally kept his heart out there in this book, a warm hug to you for that. I am going to treasure this book on my shelf. May your bookshelves overflow, may your writing grow.

-R.

Of Stones, Stories & Cities

ಮೂರ್ಖಂಗೆ ಬುದ್ಧಿಯನು ನೂರ್ಕಾಲ ಹೇಳಿದರು

ಗೋರ್ಕಲ್ಲಮೇಲೆ ಮಳೆಗರೆದರೆ, ಆಕಲ್ಲು

ನೀರ್ಕುಡಿವುದೇ ಸರ್ವಜ್ಞ?

Moorkhange budhiyanu noorkaala helidaru

Gorkallamele malegaredare, aakallu

neerukudivude Sarvajna

-Sarvajna-

Translation: Giving advice to a fool for hundred years is as useless as a heavy rain pouring on a stone. The stone never drinks the water.

Sarvajna summed it up quite well in the 16th century, well to add to his Tripadi the stones can stand the sun and rain but not human indifference, especially our Inscription Stones.

I am glad that I was one amongst a group of Bangaloreans who crossed the fence. Today we were at Hebbal as a part of the Brass Replica distribution ceremony for the donors who had donated to the construction of the mantappa for the Kittaiah inscription organized by members of Inscription Stones of Bangalore. 

It turned out to be a great winter morning with fellow city dwellers who care about the city's roots and history and more importantly with people who are actually doing something about it. Uday Kumar, who has been driving this citizen led project showed us the first pleasant surprise as we reached, a 18th century inscription stone tucked in a corner inside this local diety Maramma's temple. We humans in the 21st century have ensured that we give our future generation enough concrete to excavate, smeared in layers of all pastes and grilled. As we were discussing we found the localities performing some rituals of worship, this got me into a train of thought. Why don't we find out what exactly are we worshipping, why aren't we told, why don't we question? An eye for these precious details of the past is all that we need if we really wish to protect them.

Maramma temple and another inscription

 What got us all together on a cold December Sunday morning in the narrow lanes of Hebbal here was the love towards our city-Bangalore, Bengaluru, Bendakalooru, Vengalur-call it by whatever name. The eagerness to learn and preserve what we own is thankfully alive with some people. 

With the original, before it gets on the Ganga Mantapa

During the session we met a localite Dilip, he is the first person who noticed this piece of our city's history lying in a drain and approached the people of Inscription Stones of Bangalore for its revival. We got to hear about this oldest inscription in detail from the renowned epigraphist and historian Dr PV Krishnamurthy, he was the first to decipher the Halegannada letters on this stone, listening to him was better than an history class in school, such an inspiring eloquence. I couldn't stop myself from recording his words for fifteen minutes! We met Yashaswini Sharma who is the architect behind the Ganga style Mantapa that is being built for these inscription stones, I have ordered her book on Bangalore in which she has extensively researched upon the city and I cannot wait to read it! There are many others like Vinay Kumar, Dhanpal Manchenahalli, Prof. Narasimhan, Alex Kevin, Mohan, Srinivas; people whom I have read about and some of them whom I have met on other occasions. Also there were anonymous donors who gifted these brass replicas to people who have worked extensively for the history of this city. Now where else would you find such collective selflessness?

Nammoora Janaru

More often than we know we as citizens complain about the government and bureaucracy, about bad roads and power cuts, about power and corruption. Initiatives such as these where people who are pushing this first of it's kind project speak positively about the support that is received from the administration are commendable.  We Bangaloreans are indeed optimistic and can really work as a team despite our varied professional backgrounds.

The Brass replica

The oldest named Bangalorean, Kittaiah, his brass replica has reached my shelf today and I am going to share this story with whoever visits our home. There is more to this city of Kempegowda, more than the 'City of Boiled Beans' is what I am going to tell them.  

The handout with the details

The handout inside the memento has all the details about the history and deciphering, the process of excavation and installation of this inscription, both in English and Kannada. The compilation is an effort of all our fellow Bangaloreans who have cared for this cause.

The original inscription

Try reading it !

All fellow Bangaloreans and Bangalore admirers can support this initiative called Inscription Stones of Bangalore at

https://imojo.in/InscriptionStones

Your love towards the city of Bangalore and contribution will fund the building of a Ganga-style mantapa for the inscription , you will also receive a high-quality 1/8 scale brass replica of the 750CE Hebbal inscription stone in gratitude.

Do something for the city you live in.

Be a part of Bangalore.

Also do listen to this Vachana, some food for thought.

-R.

#bangalore #nammaoorunammahemme#inscriptionstonesofbangalore l#bangaloreheritage #bangalorediaries#kittaiah #bendakalooru #bengaluru#kittaiahhebbalinscription

The Ministry of Utmost Happiness-Book Review

“To The Unconsoled” 

Arundhati Roy writes in the dedication page of ‘The Ministry of Utmost Happiness’. And what can console in a better way than berries and plums of the summer and rains for breakfast on a Sunday morning. A bowl of ripe jamuns and kokum juice soaked overnight is just like Roy’s writing, pungent and poignant. I began this book with a presumption that some weekends and reads especially when it is after two decades, they are truly meant for shattered stories.

I read ‘The Ministry of Utmost Happiness’ like a perseverative reader determined to understand the intent of Roy’s words. What clearly stood out for me was the fact that there is no middle ground when it comes to having an opinion on this second work of fiction of hers written after two decades. You either like or dislike. 

There are very few writers who go beyond prose or poetry, between heights and depths of life and living. A lot here depends on the reader’s intellect and interest on many issues and events that have shaped today’s India, so if somebody reading the book does not feel connected I rather not blame the writing. Of course the plot lacks linearity and is greatly influenced by her viewpoints which can be interpreted in a hundred different ways. The incidental mentions of the you-know-who people leaves us with a chuckle, not for the humour but for our own lack of concern and action.

I am impressed by the distinctiveness of this book for two reasons. Firstly the theme is absolutely haphazard, like scattered pieces of a very difficult jigsaw puzzle which can never be solved or fixed. The characters and events are like tiny motes of stardust in the same sky, connected nevertheless. Every issue of political, social and more so everyday significance talked about directly or indirectly oozes out a strange kind of individuality parallel to the author's thinking.

Secondly the idea that nothing should bring down or berate anybody’s or anything’s existence; no species, no nationality, no gender, no caste, no status, no education, no belief, no religion, no occupation, no upbringing, no law of the land, no establishment or no other human, that by itself was thought provoking and impressed me greatly. 

Her description on many issues, particularly the part on martyrdom has left me transmogrified. We live in a world that makes us as well as breaks us. The breaking is what we end up focusing on. One thing’s for sure. Call it anti national. Call it dissident. Call it wail. Call it bestseller. Call it exceptional. Call it much awaited. It really does not make a difference. Call it ‘The Ministry of Utmost Happiness’ and read it, that’s all that matters.

-R.

Bangalored!

 ‘Be proud of your town because it is a big part of who you are!’ said some wise gentleman.

“Pride without knowledge is like a tree without roots!” said somebody else, a little wiser maybe.

Of late I have begun to follow their words and I have started learning about Namma Bengaluru. What better way than to read all the literature about the place we live in? While discussing our common interests (read books!) a friend recommended me ‘Peter Colaco’s Bangalore: Century of Tales from City & Cantonment’. I was on an eager search the same day.

“Your search ‘Peter Colaco’s Bangalore: Century of Tales from City & Cantonment" did not match any products. Try something like using more general terms or checking your spelling” said Amazon.

“Sorry, no results found! Please check the spelling or try searching for something else” said Flipkart.

 “Sorry, out of stock” said Sapna Online.

“Out of stock, it is in print Madam...” said Mr Maye Gowda of Blossoms Book House with his signature smile.

And then like all roads lead home, I sent this on our WhatsApp group of Akruthi Books.

Pat came Guru’s reply, a dear friend and the owner of the bookstore. If there is something called as cloud nine, it was this text for me at that moment. There is a reason why some book stores become your favourite, it is because they are run by warm people who make the place feel warmer than home. They make a way to your heart. They are not about sales. They are not about discounts. They are not about author meets and greets. They are not about book reading sessions. They prevail for something beyond all that, for the higher purpose of reading.

I received the book by post today and cannot wait to read it. Thank you Guru :-) I am Bangalored, of course for good. 

Off I go on a nostalgic through Namma Bengaluru :-)

PS: For all those who love reading and who live in Bangalore, do visit this bookstore at Rajajinagar, a quiet but bright basement very close to Bashyam Circle. I bet you cannot stop loving this little den and getting some books!

Here are the details:

Whom to contact: Mr Guruprasad on 098866 94580 [Ask him about a book, he will review it in a line or two within a couple of minutes for you :-) !]

And where it is: No. 28 (Old No. 733), 2nd Floor, 3rd Block, No. 31/1, 12th Main Rd, Gayathri Nagar, Rajaji Nagar, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560010

 On Map: 

 

 -R.

Flags and Songs

“Ah! Look at them!” I remarked.

“Today is Kannada Rajyos…ttttava magale” Appa said, as always never getting it right. Any ‘Utsava’ is always an ‘Ustava’ for him and I like making him say that. No matter how hard we try at home to correct his pronunciation he does not get better. I find it cute, his tongue rolling problems!

This was on our way back home this afternoon; a caravan of auto rickshaws was passing by us. When it comes to auto drivers in Bengaluru, there are two things one can always associate with them. Firstly their immense love for the veteran actor and director Shankar Nag which in a way defines the idea of fandom, secondly the de facto flag of our state Karnataka which flutters on their autos with much passion and pride.

Come first of November and the entire city is painted yellow and red, to add to the revelry we have the iconic song of our Annavru, Dr Raj Kumar which is nothing less than an anthem. I know you are already humming it as you are reading this! ‘Huttidare Kannada naadali huttabeku’ I must have heard it a dozen times today and definitely have sung a line or two along. One cannot resist it I tell you.

So what makes these days, flags and songs so special. Is it that we are overly patriotic about our State? A month ago or so we saw the other end of the spectrum with the Cauvery water issue which is better not discussed here. On Kannada Rajyotsava there is something beyond the usual flag hoisting and march past that happen in government bodies in Karnataka. Celebrating such days while we scoot away with our daily humdrum gives us a sense of identity and belonging. This day is not just about the formation of the State in 1956. It no longer is so simple, we are in a state of constant transition. I doubt if we can call it great though. People of this city now seek collective refuge and comfort. I was speaking to an auto driver outside my hospital today. Surprisingly his auto looked a little sober for the day. I asked him where is the flag on his auto. He replied

“Yar Madam adikella kaas karch madthare? Mansali mathe kelsadalli idre saaku!”

[Meaning to say who will spend so much money to deck the vehicle up, let it be in my heart and work! ]

He did not seem any less of a Kanandiga to me.

 The procession :-)

ಕನ್ನಡ ರಾಜ್ಯೋತ್ಸವದ ಹಾರ್ದಿಕ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು

#Kannadarajyotsava2016 #Karnataka #namoorujana #nammabaavuta #autorickshaws #soBangalore #celebrations #Shankarnag #autodriversofBangalore #suchislife #livingtoday

 -R.

The Scavengers

This post is in the list of Blogadda's Tangy Tuesday Picks of October 4th, 2016 

"Everyone must be his own scavenger"

-Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi-

My two cents to Baapu today, the only thing he can do is this, leap out of this beautiful street art and do the needful. I have been commuting through Bannerghatta Road of Bangalore for the past two years; and I must say that once upon a time this place looked a tad bit better. This is somewhere on the five hundred metre stretch from Shopper’s Stop to the Jeddimara junction, right on the main road, travelling on this road is as good as getting a breath holding test done to check your cardiopulmonary reserve. I stopped by and clicked a picture today for it is something which perfectly defines our defiance amidst all the celebrations. People have thrown enough garbage for Gandhi to do his part, to be his own scavenger! 

Today on the birth anniversary of Gandhiji and Shastrji our Prime Minister and our government with all the ‘Swachh Bharat Abhiyan’ wants us to make this unfathomable dream of a clean India come true. Before we catch hold of a broom and pose for a photograph and send it across as requested, well there is a lot of introspection to do.

Every time I pass by this place, I think of the Samaritan who drew this on the wall, I think of his or her effort and of all the people who may see it. I wonder how many of us can figure out the intention behind this art. It is to create a new mindset and to educate people but look at all the garbage around! Ironically ‘Shramdaan’ happens only on days such as today and constructing ’Shouchalyas’ remain only as winsome advices from film stars. A while before I clicked this picture a man was happily taking a leak and a few others were tip toeing around awaiting their turn. Nature calls in the wee hours of morning you see. Civility demanded I turn around and look at the other side, that's the most I could do!

Normally it is impossible to walk on this stretch of the road, with children defecating on the footpath, garbage and filth piled at every twenty feet of distance and the Bruhat Bengaluru Mahanagara Palike workers half willingly cleaning and scavenging the area. And mind you this is all on one of the busiest roads of the Garden City and Silicon Valley of India, the situation elsewhere in Bengaluru I bet isn’t any different. I wish the Palike of our city and the people of this locality looked into this matter, at least today. Look at our Baapu smiling on the wall despite what he has been offered! Before we think on what is the best tribute we pay our leaders and country, we as citizens are duty bound to sustain what we have already been provided with, knowledge or amenities. Somehow in India, this never seems to happen. Lakhs of villages and hundreds of cities are now declared Open Defecation Free. Bless the data and statistics, let us include them in our bag of achievements. All the advertisements and campaigns in fact are nothing but a veil of development; our Indianness is here to stay for a long time to come. 

So what am I complaining about? Well I could have gone ahead with an enthusiastic team today [of which there is no dearth especially on such occasions!] to clean this place and sent a picture to Modiji, put it up on social media and all. You know with the masks and caps and tees and boots and brooms in hand but which fellow Indian can assure me that after a couple of months this place will not bear the brunt again? I cannot wait till the next Gandhi Jayanthi or any other Jayanthi for that matter to go ahead and clean my Bengaluru. I am writing this with a larger issue in mind, of personal hygiene and a sense of personal health. One cannot expect one’s neighbour to come and scoop up what one throws on the road. Unless every individual realizes that his own cleanliness comes before his own happiness and somebody else's too, all community efforts are futile. Let godliness stay where it wants, to each his own. When it comes to cleanliness, nobody can better our lives. We have to do it ourselves, it's a responsibility which is strictly personal, just like one's belief.

-R. 

#october2nd #gandhijayanthi #lalbahadurshastrijayanti #soIndian #swachhbharat #defiance #cleanonlyforaday #campaignsofIndia #NaMo #whowillcleanthiscountry #happygandhijayanthi #celebrations #nationaldays #narendramodi #hamaraBharathmahankyunkihummahan #sobangalore #trelltalebangalore #myblr #namoorujana #bangalorediaries #India #failinginitiatives #Indiatoday#thingsthatiamnotproudof #swachhbharatabhiyan #bbmp #bengalurumahanagarapalike