Monday, January 31, 2011

A Moment Called Life

A rainbow in between the black and white
For the colors bright

A twinkling star amongst the sun and moon
For the light in boon

A raindrop to bring close the earth and sky
For the thirst all dry

A smile that beams amid the pain and cheer
For the hope in fear

A heart that beats to keep all love and hate
For the troubling fate

A mind that can balance all good and bad
For the streets so mad

A spirit of the game beside its win and loss
For the goals to cross

A soul to back more than friends and foes
For the row with noes

A faith to thrive in the midst of fire and ice
For the dreams all nice

A gift finest we live with all ease and strife
Is a moment called LIFE!


This poem is written as a part of Close Up Fire-Freeze Contest at Indiblogger and dedicated to everyone living a moment called life and settling all its fire and ice in evens:-)Do promote the post if it made you smile:-)
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Keep Smiling!

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Cradle

“Jennifer”I called the name aloud looking at a new file and peeping outside the clinic door of our OBG department.It was a time when our batch of students had just got into houseman ship.During which period we started getting one to one with our patients like their treating doctors.After all the initial paperwork and general examination we had to present them to our seniors and professors who then did another round of check up to decide about the further course of treatment.

She stood up and walked inside the room with her parents.She had come to the hospital with complaints of weakness, breathlessness,giddiness,palpitations,a rare cardiac disorder and a confirmed three months of pregnancy.After taking a brief history of her problems and illness I took her inside the examination room to check her blood pressure.I asked her “So Jennifer how old are you?” to keep her at ease while tying the cuff.She stared at the empty wall and replied“Nineteen”.Upon hearing that the distress she was dealing with at such an young age pinched me for a second.

”What have you studied?”I said to inquire more.It made matters worse unfortunately,she replied “They got me married last year”sobbingly.”So why are you crying,aren't you happy?”I asked her again.She answered”No I want to study more”.To do some damage control I changed the topic and asked”So what does your husband do?”She stared at the empty wall again and replied”I don’t know,I don’t stay with him anymore”adding to the uneasiness of the situation.Meanwhile her blood pressure was not seeming any close to normal and I decided to stop my questioning and ‘getting to know Jennifer’session right there.

We came to know a while later that she was going through a huge marital conflict involving multiple issues and she was sent back to her parent’s home within a year of marriage.Her husband was not very keen on letting her pursue further studies and he had asked her not to come back to the house without a son.Believe it or not,this is the plight of many girls in our country.A state of innocent ignorance and sad helplessness.

Jennifer was advised to get admitted as she needed a detailed work up and treatment.She was in the wards for around two weeks with us.I still remember the smile she used to give me every morning when I would go near her bed to examine her and write her daily notes.Initially she took some time to open up but once she did there was nothing that could stop her.Her mother told me that she would actually wait for us to come,she liked people in white coats.I  asked her with great hesitation once”So what do you want to study and become Jenny?”She replied very enthusiastically”I want to be a teacher”.I looked at her with a strange pride and said”Don’t worry you will”.

As a general rule in the department,an intern had to accompany a patient for all major investigations.It was an annoying and tiring task but sometimes helpful since we got to learn a lot of things too.I had the chance of going with Jennifer for her ultrasound scans,echocardiography and cardiology check ups.On one such occasion while we were on our way to the ultrasound room she asked me”So are they going to see my baby’s heart today?”I smiled and replied”Yes Jenny”.She looked at me anxiously and said”I just hope it does not turn out to be like mine”.I wondered how desperate she was to save her baby more so to make her husband happy.And the fact that he did not visit her even once during her stay in the hospital was more disturbing.
After all the investigations were done,the most plausible treatment plan was formulated and Jennifer was discharged with the prescribed medications and she was advised strict follow ups.My postings in the department were also over.Months passed and we interns were now used to running around the hospital for every kind of work.As doctors we meet many people daily but there are really some who touch the heart.Jennifer was one among them for me.I couldn’t forget her.She had taught me almost everything about heart diseases in pregnancy,also many things about life and else.

One day I was sitting near the tea shop in the hospital with my friends,a ten minute break from our schedule and I heard someone calling my name.I turned and saw Jennifer’s mother,quite surprised I asked her”How is our Jenny doing?”.She replied”She is in the maternity ward doctor,can you come meet her”.She looked quite disturbed.I told her that I would come and see her after I finish the day’s duty in the evening.Throughout the day at work I pondered over one thought,”Jenny would be into her seventh month of pregnancy by this time so what is she doing in the post natal ward now”,to keep some positivity I just hoped that she had delivered.It was possible.

I did go in the evening as I promised, as I entered her room I saw Jennifer lying on the bed wrapped in sweater and scarf.She looked at me and did not smile this time.I wondered if it really kept her warm.I looked around for her baby,I did not find it next to her and the only clue that made me realize what had happened now in her life was the ‘empty cradle’.A choking silence filled the room,her parents were standing next to her bed.I looked at her speechless and all I could mutter was”Jenny,take care”.She smiled at me like the first time she had and said”Yes I will,I will become a teacher one day”.

I walked out of the room with her mother,she told me that Jenny could not bear the stress and her condition kept on getting worse despite the treatment and they had no choice but to terminate the pregnancy.Her mother said“We lost the baby to save her life”.

I remember this incident so very well because this was the first time when my eyes were filled with tears for a patient.Jenny was a strong girl but her body did not have the capacity to cope with the pregnancy.I was happy that she survived with all that she had to go through,especially when there was a hundred times risk of maternal death in such pregnancies.At the same time I knew how important it was for her to have the baby.It made me equally sad.I do not know where she is right now but I just pray that she is keeping well and her husband is bestowed with some humane sense.I also hope that she becomes a good teacher one day.

Picture Courtesy

We humans are vulnerable to different grades of emotions.My mother tells me a thing that can please the heart can hurt it as well.It makes a lot of sense.Being in a profession which deals with life and everything connected to it I have and will always get to experience diverse feelings of joys, sorrows, anger, frustration, courage and fear.These will not just be mine but of others as well and I always have to keep aside my personal ones when I face theirs.For Jenny I was happy and sad at the same time.It is difficult to explain how but her positivity made me a wee bit strong.

Life is like a seesaw,we must make sure that we balance both ends well.Going down will be then as easy and acceptable as rising up.We fight for little things and reasons and we know not of what we have until we lose it.NEVER let go something precious that makes you awful for another reason,big or small.As long as you feel that you can feel for something or someone in your life,keep feeling,it will keep you alive!:-)

This post is written as a part of 

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

MAYBE TRUE-The Ultimate Wonder

"Wake up, let’s go!” my jolly good six year old cousin yelled as he ran and came near my bed in the late hours of a summer morning.I was at my granny’s house spending my yearly quota of a two month vacation and waking up post eleven ante meridiem was considered normal then.I ignored him and snuggled under the bed sheet.The enthusiasm with which he pulled me out of bed was appreciable.Annoyed I asked him“Where to?”.He replied”To catch fish!”Nobody in the house had devouring interests in fishes therefore I gave him a puzzled look and enquired”So what is it today?Why fish?With what?”.He replied with double excitement”With our hands Akka!Come I will teach you”.His charming innocence compelled me to be a part of his monkeyshines.

We walked through the watermelon creepers and reached the channel of water flowing around the farm.We sat near the stream,he was staring at something in water.I poked him when he turned and instructed”Shh!Silence!Look!”.I did so and it was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever come across,around a fifty of tiny and identical black fishes were swimming together in the crystal clear waters.I hinted to him”What next?”.He whispered”Keep calm and when I jump,you jump!Let us see who catches the most!”

I gave a thumbs up for his challenge and ended up wet head to toe.He was an expert at it and not very surprisingly I lost.He then showed me an interesting phenomenon only to make me feel better.He instructed me again,this time to keep my feet inside the water and just wait.I dis so and within a moment the fishes were at my feet tickling me to death.Quite startled I pulled back my feet and asked”What was that?”He giggled saying”Akka these fishes know why I come here daily and they are my friends now!They don’t mind if I kill them,they just multiply and come to say hello!The more they come and kiss your feet,the more loved you are!I guess they like you!”I smiled listening to his amusing theories,but deep down somewhere in the bottom of my heart I wondered”Maybe true!”.

Meanwhile hunger creeped in and fish was definitely out of our menu.So we walked back home bound.On the way the giant mango tree caught his eye,the fruits were dangling in colours of young greens,perfect yellows and ripe reds.He sprinted and climbed the tree making his way through the branches he reached more than an arm distance away from the yellowest of them all,he screamed from top”Akka,do as I say!Can you see this one?It is here for us!I cannot step more.Pick up a stone,look straight only at the mango and throw!”.He was very convincing and I could not refuse.I followed his orders and with a ‘thud’ the mango landed on ground.I smiled at his funny thought process while deep down somewhere in the bottom of my heart I wondered”Maybe true!”.

Long long ago with the boy:-)
He insisted that we share the mango after going home because the idea was his and the hit mine,fair indeed.He ran with the basket of fishes to feed our pet dogs who were eagerly waiting for their breakfast and then did I come to know his purpose behind the program of catching fishes.As we entered the porch,we heard a faint squeak.It was an injured parrot,moved by its state he took the bird to his room and did the wound dressing.He was keen on covering its body with an extra roll of gauze until we made him realize that a bird has to fly!Fortunately the parrot recovered and in no time it was seen hopping all around.We then advised him to let it go considering the possibilities of our pet cat making her murder plan.But he had made another sophisticated one already,he wanted to teach the parrot to talk!After a lot of persuasion,cock and bull story telling he let it go saying,”I am not doing this because you want me to,I am letting my parrot fly now because I know it will be back soon”.

In the evening  we were plucking jasmine flowers in front of the house.He stood still gazing at the sky.He liked watching clouds and conferring them with titles of different shapes.I then asked him“What do you see?” thinking it was one of those moments.”Nothing” he replied.The memories of the parrot still bothered him or so I thought and said”Look carefully, doesn’t it look like a big white mango”.He gave me a toothy smile and said “Actually I can see a green bird with a red beak!”.Not any less alarmed by his answer I rubbed my eyes and turned towards the sky.He was right indeed,there was his parrot.It came flying and perched near us on the ground.He looked at me and said”What did I tell you?See it’s here to say thank you!”.

When I went to bed that night I thought of the fishes that kissed my feet and the parrot that flew back.”Is it true that they can feel exactly like we people do,if not why do they behave so?”I thought and slept with many unsettled questions, but deep down somewhere in the bottom of my heart I wondered “Maybe true”.

Days like these have made me think that miracles are not paranormal,they are real.For most of us it means people, places or incidents which give us that never happened before feeling.Diseases are cured and lives are saved, dreams are realized and jackpots are made.If we lose something on a bad day we get a good deal some other time in return. Most of the miracles we believe in are due to lack of discernment and abundance of coincidences.

If we broaden our perspectives and look at the other entities around us we will find that there is so much more to wonder about on this vast earth, and one life is not enough.Every leaf has something to say and we notice such seemingly little things not very often. The elements of nature-air,water,aether,earth and fire work in perfect harmony,because of them all our lives are in a cycle of give and take.Every being is an integral part of it and a marvel by itself. Miracle is not when we wish on a shooting star and the wish happens,our world will spin the way it wants to and we can sustain in it by playing our part well and giving life a chance to touch.If there is one miracle we should allow ourselves to believe in without any ties of skepticism,it should be in the power and spirit of nature,the ultimate wonder.

Nature-A  miracle surviving adversity with all its might.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Miracle Friend

This is a *story of a simple man who lived in a remote village called Thingalady in the outskirts of Puttur,a small town of South Canara.He had a huge arecanut farm but it hardly brought any yield, there was nothing else to support his family either.And being a father of nine kids he was struggling hard to make ends meet.The children were very young and he had to give his best to keep them happy which he did.

Life was quite monotonous when his little ones were growing up,especially during the times of transition.One after the other they left home for studies,work and reasons else.He was content but over years he had drilled an emptiness for himself.He had no grave complaints as such,all he longed was for a friend.The good lord heard his prayers and one fine day the angel of his life arrived.She came wrapped in an old and shabby cloth,when he saw her for the first time he said very intuitionally to his family members"Let's keep her".

He built a special home for her near the garden and food followed sumptuously.From rusks to papayas he gave her his favorites always.Late mornings were meant for some water play and every time he splashed a bucket of water right on her face she yelled with joy."Dare you howl at me like that!" he would say just to provoke her and throw some water again.In the evenings he and his friend would walk amidst the mango, cashew nut and jack fruit trees in the hillocks.They would sit watching the sunset and those were the best moments of his day.He would then talk all that he wanted to with her and she would listen attentively.During one such conversation he told her"You know what!You are nothing short of a miracle in my life because there is nobody else who has time for me like you do!I am sure you will never leave me and go!”And like every time she nodded her head in agreement.They had made a pact.

Many years passed by and he noticed she was becoming very much like him,thin and frail.Her skin sagged while his wrinkles deepened,he had reached his eighties.When everyone in the house was busy with their chores he made sure that he gave her an extra meal daily.Over a period of time age hit hard on him too,the morning baths and evening walks stopped.He was forced to stay indoors unfortunately.While he moaned in pain,she would refuse food and spend her time walking restlessly and wailing all day after hearing him.

On a fateful dusk he was lying on his bed surrounded by his kith and kin.The air churned by the swirling fan moved out of the window.She stood near the rails watching him with all the love she had for him.He was gasping for breath and suddenly his chest stopped moving.There was a mourning silence.It was all over.He had left.She dropped a tear,a very unusual sight.

She sat in a corner watching him sleep in peace.Friends and family who rarely enquired about him or his health made their last visit after which his children carried him to the hillock for the last rites.A hundred men walked together,she followed them quietly.He was laid on the pyre and his children walked around him paying their last respects.She did the same too, exactly in the same manner.The flames were lit, she watched the fire reach sky high.She wondered where he would be going next.The warmth and the light seemed like a beacon to her.It reminder her of the pact.She was always told not to leave him and go.She saw the smoke go behind the trees and fields.She followed it and ran into the darkness,never to return.

*The story is based on the life of my grandfather and his darling pet called PINKY.We have had no clue as to her whereabouts since the day he passed away.The family believes she left us because he did.She lived for a long and good sixteen years with him.She was one of the most wondrous part of his life.It has been more than ten years now since they left.We miss them both.Sometimes even the hardest of goodbyes feel like a strange miracle.

The best miracles of our lives are not the ones which strike us like a thunderbolt all of a sudden.If we look closely they are the ones we live with right now.They are around and within us.We can find it in a stranger who offered a little help or in a pauper who returned a fallen purse.We can see it gleaming in our parent's eyes when we make them proud.We can feel it when we are sure that we have at least one unconditional friend.A real miracle is when someone holds us when we fall but we least expected him to do that,it is when someone follows our dreams without a second thought,it is when we let go something we like the most or when we give someone some love benevolently without asking for anything in return.

Miracles do not occur when God realizes and feels like giving us a change on a blessed day, they happen when we make them happen.Everything happens for a reason and if it is above our interpretation we choose to call it a miracle.

Remember a caterpillar never looks any close to a butterfly but ends up flying as one,a little miracle indeed:-)


Raksha Bhat

Thursday, January 20, 2011


“I have no trouble with my enemies.I can take care of my enemies in a fight.
But my friends, my goddamned friends, 
they’re the ones who keep me walking the floor at the nights”
-Warren G Harding-

I laid there on the grass watching my roof in the boundless dark
A screeching owl flew past my eyes with echoes of a singing lark

The stars then brought inside my tent a wanderer dirty that night
Whose smile could colour a million milky ways all silver and white

He stared saying ‘O’friend join me for a game’ with a feel so true
Like merry souls we strolled then in the woods playing peek a boo

I lost no treasures when he won and chuckled during every game
For the time first my world was not any loner or longer the same

Burst a wish next and made me ask "Aye,shall I with myself keep
I shall love and look after your tender lights from my heart deep"

He brawled saying"What enough reason is that for me to stay?"
Under his bed of clouds he ran to hide while I did not go away!

I laid there on the grass again for I knew he will be back soon
Even if he could not turn mine in half or full he is my only moon

Pray I did in a whispering weep to see him return in a fiery blare
Times like these I find a ray of hope when I let him go with dare

When sleepless such pensive flooded like brooks of restless rile
   He peeped saying"Eh silly girl,did you miss me all this while?".


Saturday, January 15, 2011

Open Sesame!

"Sankranti habbada shubhashyagalu...ellu bella thinni...olle mathadi":-)

Hither thither hopping away beyond the far & dark cloud
A star of stars this fine day finds himself in another home
Melting this winter's cold with his light so gleaming proud
Like cubes of saccharine bring the fest a tempting chrome

So boil on your firewood a porridge from the newest rice 
Treat thyself with sugarcane long & ripe waiting for peel
Treasure for years to last a harvest of words true & nice
Hold the string tight,soar your kite high for the flying feel

Welcome the world with mango leaves tied at your door
Share with your friends and foes some jaGgery & sesame
Holy cow!it is time to worship so ask for good hearts more
Pray no spite or evil stays for long around on us to blame

For there is enough power and joy in a living to celebrate 
Every new dawn can bring along a blithe filled festive day
When there is more room for a love to give, no air to hate
Life shall live and breathe with us very close not any away

Festivals cannot be celebrated with the same pomp and joy anymore,here in this country the price we pay for even daily living is rocket high.But our kite of life and hope shall fly,because we Indians never say die:-P.Cheers to the spirit of the land that celebrates the most number of festivals in this world.A lot of strokes and colors have gone into the above picture from my left hand[me a leftie;-)],this one is especially for the one reading this post,wishes to you and your family this Sankranti:)

Good day!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Our World-A Not So Super Supermarket!

“Badnekai…bendekai…sorekai…southekai…seemesouthekai…herekai…haglakai…hasimensinaki…avrekai…chaparadavrekai...nuggekai…darlekai…kumblakai…kadlekai…padavalakai…aa kai ee kai…tamata…aalugadde…suvarnagadde…aa gadde ee gadde…iruli…beluli…karibevooo…kothambrrrri sopppo…tharkaaarrri!!!”

If you understand the above lines feel free to skip the next paragraph and read further.

If you do not,well here is a little piece of information to keep you in the loop of this post.In the towns of Karnataka when you hear these many names on the street you are made to believe that the vegetable seller is here to give you yours and make his daily bread.These names of vegetables and the tone in which he screams vary depending on what he wants you to buy.Believe me he can be extremely hilarious,most of the times I cannot figure out what he has arrived with until he is at the doorstep.Hoping now that you are in the loop by now and have an idea of what I am going to chatter about, proceed at your own risk and read further:)
These cries and calls were once a common phenomenon during the later part of mornings and evenings, we do not get to hear many nowadays.I have a remote connection of gratitude with these people, especially with an old lady who used to sell bananas on the pavement near Havanur Circle.I was new to the city then,it had been only a week since Appa was transferred from Doddaballapura.First day of standard four in my fourth school and I lost my way back towards our new home!Seeing me confused and equally terrified this good grandma came to my rescue.She helped me with the route and to make me feel better she gave some bannanas for free.Not that they helped but she certainly did.By the way I hate bananas,this is the only good memory of the fruit that I have.If not for her I would not be here now writing this post. Every time I visit the neighbourhood my eyes search her.The landscapes have changed, now cluttered with more buildings and traffic.I miss the greenery that once made those roads feel like home,it is my favorite part of this town.I did see her once in the same spot wearing the same saree and selling those same bananas with more wrinkles on her forehead and nothing else.She recognized me and offered me a banana again!I had a tough time convincing her that I was not lost this time!There has been a long gap of years and distance since then.These days I have seen her look alike,maybe it is her daughter who runs a fruit shop in the same place.

These vegetable and fruit sellers can build a special rapport,especially with the ladies of the house.They bring and take news,they share their knowledge of worldly affairs,and they curse the government as much as we all do.It is fun to watch the housewives bargain with them and check their weighing balance for magnets and accurate weights.Gone are the days when a fifty gram here and there did not matter to either of the parties,he now does not cannot put an onion or a tomato extra in the weighing pan,coriander leaves are no more given instead of coins as change.I say this out of understanding and facing the big transition like every other urban Indian.We have changed drastically in terms of buying and selling, more so the way we interact with people.

Few days back the family with a mission of getting monthly groceries was at a nearby supermarket,one of the places on my ‘never visit’ list.The chief/chef of the house succeeded in pulling me out,my mother’s reason “Buy the things that you like and need,I will not cannot do it for you!”.And I obliged.I detest visiting very much because there is a choking aura in such places.After I was done with dumping my requirements in the basket,pushing the shopping cart behind my mother I got into my favorite pastime of observing the crowd.It is fun when someone stares back;-)

I saw a little kid crying and fighting adamantly for a toy with his father,a new couple buying all the ready to eats,giggling girls trying outfits which they were never to buy,wide eyed boys on the other side checking them out,customers fighting for broken plastic buckets and iron box alike at the exchange counters,a million products old and new kept neatly in the racks,vegetables & fruits cold and packed,drums of rice and sugar,escalators running up and down,loaded shopping carts with jammed wheels and well uniformed staff slogging with their tally of items for sale while some of them following with their neck right on the customer’s shoulder.I must confess that I am uncomfortable listening to their “Can I help you,Madam” and I usually turn down their offer politely saying “Thank you,I shall do that myself”.But they do not stop there,well they are paid for making that chase.I sometimes resist my urge to turn back and shout ”God sake,I am not a thief!”.

Finally the worst businesses are in the end;long queues at the billing section,’your’ crisp notes neatly placed in ‘their’ boxes in the counters and a cashier who settles the bill saying “Thank you”with the most fictitious smile ever.When we were back home all mother had to say”What times have come,take a gunny bag of money from home,all one can buy and bring back is a packet of groundnuts!”.Sometimes she does make sense.We live in a world which is idiotically very calculative and mechanical.How many things that we buy are bought because we really need them?Can we buy anything that we really are in need of without a second thought?When was the last time buying made us feel unconditionally good?It is a mad,mad world I say!Here,even love comes tagged with a price.Sigh!

I wonder what this fortune teller means when he says"Good times are coming!Good times are coming!”,nevertheless this advertisement  is rib tickling and very wittily made.The granny in the end who says “Take it Raja!” reminds me of the old lady I mentioned right up here.Perhaps some Raja did listen to and take her suggestion very seriously,or maybe it was just a gross 'communication problem'.What say people?:-) 
PS: One down,many more exams lined up:-(...what a start to 2011...argh...thank you for the wishes...need them for months more!!! 


Thursday, January 6, 2011


The mind is extremely occupied with just medical stuff and refuses to think anything else, for another three months or more.Courtesy my pre pg entrance examinations.Posts and visits shall be less frequent,I hereby request my blog and the blogosphere to forgive my absence and a mighty thanks to the one reading this for reading this and staying in the nest.You guys make me happy, you really do.I shall definitely be back and scratch the last one on my Firebolts To Cloud9 page;)

Hasta la vista!

Cheers and a good day

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A Nouveau Page

Blank and fresh stares a leaf of paper another on the dawn table
 In restless waits with all the ink and feathers for blithe of a fable
If you cannot scribble, worry not and let those wishes for a float
Fold and cut a strip two from the sides to make your sailing boat
 Else give some wings, throw your plane with a blowing winds far
Let it soar to rule a kingdom of boundless skies like a falcon czar

Clueless still, then write a letter to a good friend scorned and lost
Stamp the bitterness, crumple or burn not your sheet at any cost
Or meet a stranger on a not so lonely highway and learn his song
 Like a note to remember pen down your tunes and yodel all along
Draw a secret map together, walk till a bruise shines on your knee
Hunt for your treasures dearest, like for honey dies a bustling bee

In this journey joyous, time shall fly and roads shall end so will life
Brave is a heart that crosses milestones a hundred against all strife
Sharpen the pencil of mind, cleanse the brush of every bloody deed
 Paint colors bright or add a line to your log, let the world rest read
In ribbons of selfless love wrap every beautiful dream you now live
Keep the pile safe to share for each year brings a new hope to give ! 


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